You exhibit a slight twitch when introduced to anyone named Charley, Frances or Ivan. Nope.
Your freezer never has more than $20 worth of food in it any given time. Nope.
You have looked at paint swatches for the plywood on your windows, to accent the house color. Nope.
You think of your hall closet as "cozy." The Hobbit Closet is cute, but not cozy.
Your pool is more accurately described as "framed in" than "screened in." Huh?
Your freezer in the garage now only has homemade ice in it. Nope.
You no longer worry about relatives visiting during the summer months. Huh?
You haven't heard from the insurance adjuster, even after leaving several messages. Huh?
You now understand what that little "2% hurricane deductible" phrase really means. Huh?
You're putting together a collage of roof shingles from your neighborhood. Nope.
You have a 5 gallon bucket of roofing tar in the garage. Nope.
You are once proud of your 16" electric chain saw. Nope.
You're considering upgrading to a 20" chainsaw. Nope.
You know what "Bar chain oil" is. Nope.
Your street has a "NO WAKE" sign posted. Nope.
You own 5 large ice chests and two portable propane tanks. Nope.
You can cook "anything" on a propane grill. Nope.
Your parrot can now say "hunker down." Nope.
You recognize people in line at the free ice, gas and plywood locations. Nope.
You stop what you're doing and clap and wave when you see a convoy of power company trucks come down your street. Nope.
You're depressed when they don't stop. Nope.
You have the personal cell phone numbers of the manager at Home Depot on your speed dialer. Nope.
You've spent more than $20 on "Tall white kitchen bags." Nope.
You now think the $6000 whole house generator seems reasonable. Nope.
You own more than one 5 gallon gas can. Nope.
You know how to "backfeed" 220 through the dryer plug. Huh?
You ask your sister up north to start saving the Sunday Real Estate classifieds. Nope.
And my personal addition:
You're crazy and can't drive.
Thank Heavens I'm Not Really A Floridian!
