With Every Ending, A New Beginning

And so it's over. I graduated. Totally f'ing surreal. Best 4 years of my life? I'd say that it's the best 4 years so far. It's certainly the most educational 4 years of my life. I can't say there has been a time in which I have learned more, both in and out of the classroom. And so I impart some wisdom...

Things I have learned in the past 4 years

Never date someone that takes longer to get ready to go out than you do.
The Underwater Hockey House is really just a freshman brothel in disguise.
You’ll never get a ‘yes’ if you don’t ask.
One should never brag about going to Kams.
It is good to have a best friend with a soothing voice.
If they major in anything related to drama (fine arts, rhetoric, english, etc.) you can expect drama in your relationship.
It is easier to go to class than to try to teach yourself the entire course the night before the final.
And yet, it is possible to teach yourself parts of the course while taking the final.
It is only necessary to go to McKinley if you are pregnant or have the flu as those seem to be the only two diagnoses they know.
TAs going on strike = road trip super fun.
Red wine is a fantastic cure for writer’s block.
People in politics are generally shady.
Illinois has some really cool alum.
Quad Day is the best time for free stuff.
It is nice to share your umbrella on a rainy day.
A soft scarf is a wintertime best friend.
Mittens are so much better than gloves.
The hottest day of the year is also known as move-in day. The second hottest day of the year is Quad Day. The rainiest day of the year is move-out day.
The Alma Mater used to be located behind Follinger but they had to move it to Green and Wright because too many people were having sex on it.
People who are passionate about what they do are often the most interesting people.
There is no right on red at the intersection of Lincoln and Green.
Major in something you really enjoy.
Most Illini Hockey games are more fun than professional games (whenever those are played)… that is, if you can stand the smell of the rink.
Lying on the Quad on a sunny afternoon is a perfect afternoon.
It is not possible to learn anything while on the Quad.
Your room will be at its cleanest during finals week.
Gatorade is every alcoholic’s savior.
“In Whose Honor?” is the most ridiculous documentary ever.
2am bus sing-alongs are always in perfect harmony.
Pokey sticks are best eaten the next morning for breakfast.
Frat boy antics are funny.
Bambas is never good. Not even when you’re drunk.
The Union’s address is 1401 W. Green St., Urbana, IL 61801
The ability to rattle off all of the drink specials on any given night does not make you cool.
It is somehow easier to get an A in a 400-level course than it is in a 100-level.
Some of the best relationships grow when you’re hundreds, or even thousands, of miles apart.
Green Street Coffeehouse makes better Chai Lattes than Espresso Royale.
The Morrow Plots are special.
The world is a very small place.
Ann Arbor is a whore.
Unofficial is officially the most ridiculous day of the year.
Sorority girls are a breed of their own.
You can eat anything you like and not gain weight as long as you walk everywhere on campus (i.e., don’t take the bus, lazy ass).
The waitress drops 246 toothpicks in Rain Man.
The Daily Illini is the worst newspaper ever.
Old Navy flip flops don’t give you blisters.
Illini Media Company probably violates many minimum wage/slave labor laws.
Corn cannot grow in the shade.
Coca-Cola eventually ferments.
Allegra-D, Benedryl, and a lot of caffeine is a fantastic triple cocktail.
Sometimes it’s just easier to actually do the work.
The Transportation Building is the hardest building on campus to find.
Illinois' poisonous plant garden is world-famous for its collection.
It is entirely possible to call a bunch of cornfields "home".
I am extremely proud to be a part of the Illini family.